Hello, my name is Melissa and I am a recovering perfectionist. Being a perfectionist may not seem like such a bad thing at first. I mean, its helped me get good grades all through school and I excelled in the hobbies I had talent in. But, being a perfectionist has stolen lots of happy moments from my life.
As early as kindergarten I remember trying to make perfect letters and numbers on every page of homework. Erasing over and over until the paper was full of eraser holes and I was on the floor in a pile of tears and frustration. It takes me forever to pick the best dish to eat at a restaurant. Seriously, I cant just pick something that's going to be good, I HAVE compare each dish to the other, slowly going through a process of elimination to pick the perfect dish that I will absolutely love. This means I often give up and order the same things over and over and I always order last. Perfectionism kills my hobbies, because if I can't do it perfectly every time I get really disappointed and all my inspiration goes right out the window, often times I quit.
The thing is, perfectionism even takes the fun out of success because nothing is ever good enough. Everything has room for improvement. Worst of all the fear of doing badly will make me quit before I have even started.
Recently I have realized that my obsessive perfectionism was taking all the fun out of blogging. It takes me literally hours, sometimes days to get a post to the point where I think its good enough to publish. I edit and re-edit every post far more times then necessary. I over think every sentence. Its exhausting and seriously not fun anymore.
I hate this perfectionism. I want to get rid of it and find my love for blogging again, so over next few weeks I am going to try to post at least 2-3 times a week on this blog (and I am not going to worry if I miss one, because that would be perfectionistic, right!). I am not going to freak out if things aren't perfect. My pictures may not be portfolio worthy and I'm not going to win any awards with my writing, but hopefully I will find that inner joy that springs forth when I am documenting life around me.